My middle daughter was in the hospital unexpectedly for 54 days straight. That was 54 days that I as her mom was unable to leave the hospital (I was nursing her at the time and that was her sole source of nutrition). Not that I wanted to leave, because I certainly didn't want to leave my daughter there alone, but I also had 2 other young children at home that needed me.
Finding appropriate care for my other children was a top priority and during the days where only the rich had cell phones it was also a challenge to find someone at home that could help me with my older children.
Offering to assist a family that has other children at home during a child's hospital stay is a lifesaver to a mom that needs to be in two places at once. The person that cares for the mom's other children should be understanding to the children as they are also going through a difficult time with mom and their sibling gone. The children remaining at home might be prone to acting out and require extra attention during this time. Keeping them busy and out of mischief may require a lot of effort on the care giver's part.
If at all possible, it is best to keep the children remaining at home in the home of origin rather than take them to someone else's home. This requires less transition for the children and remaining in their own surroundings will help give them a sense of stability.
Since the mom and dad rushed the child in to the hospital there are often housekeeping issues that need attention and other minor things that an in home care giver to the remaining children could do to assist the family in need. Whether it be something as simple as finishing up the dishes or doing a few loads of laundry or as complex as arranging for these things to be done by others, it is a much appreciated gift to the parents that are busy struggling with a child's illness.
Its difficult to eat properly when your child is in the hospital. It is very very easy to get caught up in eating a quick bag of chips or a candy bar just to keep your body going a little bit longer. A friend of mine would come in and sit with my daughter while she was asleep so I could sneak out and get a healthy meal. I also took this time to take a walk outside just to refresh my own spirits. Sometimes the hospital will have volunteers that can come in and sit with a child while mom or dad is out of the room also.
If you are involved in a church it is a great opportunity for someone to step in and help provide meals or respite care for the parents in the hospital. Once the child is back home this would also be greatly appreciated for a few days.
Since my daughter's 54 day stay at the hospital was unexpected, I was very unprepared. I had not packed myself a bag of clothing or brought any personal items along with me to the hospital. We were only going in for what was to have been routine tests so we had no idea what we were in for.
Thankfully I was able to get a hold of a friend and gain her access to my home in order to procure some clothing and other personal items. What a blessing that friend was. In subsequent visits I learned to keep a bag at the ready for such emergencies.
Laundry can be quite the challenge when a child is in the hospital for any length of time. Some hospitals, especially children's hospitals, have a laundry facility on the floor for personal use. Its usually on a first come first served basis but let me tell you, if you are out of clean clothing it is a Godsend even if you do have to wait!
Errands seem to spring up where least expected. I was blessed with a few friends that were always calling me to see if I needed anything. It didn't matter how large or small, my friends were awesome about making sure I had what I needed. They were even kind enough to bring me the checkbook, stamps and my mail so that if I had any bills due I could pay them.
A listening ear is always a blessing to the harried mom in this situation. Rather than call and risk waking her and the child up, Send her a quick note or postcard and let her know you want to help but did not wish to wake her. Ask her to call you at her earliest convenience so that you may help. Or better yet, send her some flowers and let her know you want to help and ask how you may be of assistance to her. Remember to leave your phone number in case she doesn't have it with her.
Compassion and understanding are much appreciated by the family undergoing any medical issues. Dealing with a child that is ill is a challenge in and of itself. Adding other children and life's general responsibilities to the mix can make it seem almost insurmountable during this time.
